Wednesday, 25 February 2009

LOL Fucktards

LOL
I hate netspeak. “LOL” (Laughing Out Loud) particularly is the turd in my martini. By the amount “lol” is used, in conversations that were just harmlessly inane, the writers come across as a snorting chortling fucktard who’s pissed their straitjacket with incontinent mirth. I’d rather read death threats scrawled in shit on a wall.

Emoticons
People who use emoticons remind me of the sort of chunky blonde jolly hockey sticks deb who dots her “i”s with fat little circles, or smiley faces. Emoticons are the inane rubber stamps of language- no, make that the ham-fisted potato prints of the lumpen inarticulate. Why not try actual words? You’ve got a whole keyboard. Use it.

8 comments:

Murray said...

:) :) :D

Miranda said...

With you on that one. Oh yes I am

Mud in the City said...

But I do rather like the word 'fucktard'

Janelle said...

flip. hastily checking.....christ. x j

Tessa said...

Turds in martinis. Absolutely.

karen said...

heheh! marvellous!! of course i use smileys all the time - guess i've been hanging out with my teenage kids & their pals for too long. i'm a F**tard for sure, and I love it! (amazing word!) :-o

jane said...

What about webby, emaily little abbreviations? I quite like em. IMHO (bit overworked that one) they can be cute. NNTR.

Lani Vento said...

oooh, that hurts. i thought i was being tres cool to start using those things but a little voice in my head was sorely disappointed in me and told me so every time i used lol or a smiley face. i didn't listen. so now, rather than be a fucktard, i'm going to reform. (I like that word, too, Mud) (oh and turds in martinis is super)