Saturday, 20 February 2010

Piece of Shit Car

As I write, my car is on an operating table, after blowing its head gasket. Last rites have been administered. For the non car fundis* among you, a blown head gasket is like a thunderous blue-in-the-face-dead-before-you-hit-the-ground-heart-attack that blows out surrounding windows and sets off nearby car alarms. A tiny homunculus suicide bomber hiding in the engine, wearing an "Allah Will See You Now" t-shirt.

It's going cost R18 000 (US$2 800)- money I could have more wisely spent on:
  • Aeroplane sky-writing Fuck you, you dried up old skank” over a particular ex-girlfriend’s house
  • A knee-job on my ex-employer by a reasonably reliable thug
  • More pliant Morrocan boys than you could shake a stick at
Alas and alack, these pecunious pleasures are not to be.

*fundi (Zulu) : a person skilled in repairing or maintaining machinery; mechanic.

8 comments:

martin said...

For 28-hundred I can can get you an '86 blue-plate Crown Vic with 3-on-the-tree.

Janelle said...

heh he he...i know it isn't funny really but...you make it funny here! x j

fush and chips said...

martin,
What is an '86 blue-plate Crown Vic?

Anonymous said...

Oh bugger.

Linda Sue said...

Hilarious- love the alternatives!

Val said...

yeah what is that '86 thing? sorry bout the car

martin said...

http://lincoln.ne.gov/CITY/police/vehicles/86vic.jpg

fush and chips said...

Martin,
Snorting laughing. Very "Hill Street Blues".