Friday, 3 April 2009

I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You

The Big One. The one I asked to marry me, when we were just way too young, and again, when it was way too late. No one since has budged the richter scale. I dreamed of her again last night. She’s an ocean away, married, with a kid, but once she was mine forever. I wake on these mornings heavy and sad, with a hollowness like thirst. I’ve never stopped waiting for her.

These feelings are beyond my control.

Why Did I Dream of You Last Night?
Why did I dream of you last night?
Now morning is pushing back hair with grey light
Memories strike home, like slaps in the face;
Raised on elbow, I stare at the pale fog
beyond the window.

So many things I had thought forgotten
Return to my mind with stranger pain:
- Like letters that arrive addressed to someone
Who left the house so many years ago.
- Philip Larkin (1959)

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I also dream of my ex. You knew him once too. Breaks my heart. Perhaps it's how we were when we were once with them that we're truly longing for?

Anonymous said...

We were young, united, free, deep, beautiful, sexy, strong, shiny and new. What was not to love? Are you in touch with her? I am too scared to let go of the dream and make contact...

Anonymous said...

It's interesting that she did that. I fear my ex doesn't even think of me. I have made myself available to be google-stalked but to no avail. Maybe one day.

Shiny said...

I wonder sometimes, too, if it's them, or that long-ago time we long for? And, also, does everyone have one? Surely it works out sometimes? Surely. Beautiful post.

x

Janelle said...

devastatingly haunting... x j

livingladolcevita said...

Those dreams are killer. But I wouldn't be without them.

karen said...

Oh.. I'm sad...(those dreams) but beautiful words and music for your love...

Gary du Toit said...

The romance between you and G is so epically devastatingly tragic. It's like The English Patient (although I have hope that it ends up like Love In The Time Of Cholera).

Anonymous II said...

Long time since I've had text-induced goosebumps creep over me like a thermocline in a farm dam.

Anonymous said...

"Like a thermocline in a farm dam" is the strangest metaphor I have ever read.

allie said...

What a beautiful post!

There is something throat-aching about memories of long ago love
And what might have been . .