The Big One. The one I asked to marry me, when we were just way too young, and again, when it was way too late. No one since has budged the richter scale. I dreamed of her again last night. She’s an ocean away, married, with a kid, but once she was mine forever. I wake on these mornings heavy and sad, with a hollowness like thirst. I’ve never stopped waiting for her.
These feelings are beyond my control.
Why Did I Dream of You Last Night?
Why did I dream of you last night?
Now morning is pushing back hair with grey light
Memories strike home, like slaps in the face;
Raised on elbow, I stare at the pale fog
beyond the window.
So many things I had thought forgotten
Return to my mind with stranger pain:
- Like letters that arrive addressed to someone
Who left the house so many years ago.
- Philip Larkin (1959)