Every morning I take two white and three yellow pills. At night it’s three yellow ones, three round white pills, a big round white, an orange, and a red if I can’t sleep. It takes two swallows to get them all down. It’s a regimen I resent, but I’ve been on pills so long I honestly couldn’t tell you what I’m like without them.
Peter Sellers Syndrome
In social situations, I sometimes feel like I’m sobbing inside, floundering in the depression in my brain, while my mouth just witters away in some amusing fashion. Many comedians and artists are or were bipolar. People like: Stephen Fry (above); Jim Carey; John Cleese; Ben Stiller; Tim Burton; Virginia Woolf; and Sylvia Plath. Woolf and Plath met grim ends. 1 in 6 bipolars kill themselves.
If given the option of pushing an imaginary button that would cure me, I’m not sure I’d push it. My condition’s relatively mild. I have most of the benefits of hypomania, a slightly less psychotic form of energy, vitality and exuberance and hopefully, creativity. The depressions are awful, but on good days the soaring highs seem worth it.